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Author Topic: Cooking with cOOter: CB Junk Food  (Read 3904 times)
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cOOter
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!!! disco chicken !!!


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« on: September 29, 2011, 10:24:37 PM »

Health warning: The food shown on this page might kill you.

Lovely Kyrandia suggest I do a cooking thing, so here I go.  glasses9

CB junk food has to be some what tasty and quick to make. If you're gone from the CB too long
evil turds like Dimmock might finally reveal why he has sick thoughts about under
age girls in one piece and two piece bikinis.

Being that we are CB dick heads, we need the same food bogans eat, as technically CBer's and bogans are the same species.
Anything not moving is usually on the menu.

I've been wanting to stack on weight for a project I have coming up.
It's a long story, but I wanna get fat and heavy so I can sit on a devils face with my pants on
and smoother the prick until his body turns blue.

Anyway, this page is about cooking, so let's get into the kitchen....



TURN YA GRILL ON ASAP SO THE PAN HEATS UP!!!
A pre-heated hot pan cooks the underside of the bread.
Cheap grill ya can get for $30 at Aldi or what ever that place is called.
These little suckers heat up real quick!!
Never use satans microwaves for CB junk food. They were made to zap Christians.
We might be lazy, but we're not flipping crazy!!

The idea here is SPEED!!! So the ingredients need to be light ...
Remember, ya pissed on VB and don't want to be away from the beer fridge for too long,
whoops I mean the CB for too long.


Timing is crucial. While the grill is heating up get this shit out of the fringe.

* Mozzarella Cheeses
* Tomato sauce. If you have that Dolmio's grin sauce shit then use it, but make sure ya don't #uck around to long going through the cupboard trying to find it. Dimmock is on-air giving "life coach" lessons and ya need ta get back to the CB asap to find out why the hell he thinks males french kissing on Home and Away is so #ucking important.
* Garlic granules are a must. They keep vampires and Dimmock away and it smells GREAT while cooking.
* Bread rolls or sliced bread.
* If you have to, use some other toppings. In this case I used roast beef.


Ok, let's cook!!
If using rolls I like to cut them in half.


Butter is the work of the devil, so forget that crap. Besides it wastes time.
Just whack some sauce on like so.


With the back of a tea spoon spread the embalming fluid, whoops, artificial preservative stuff out like this.
I stuffed up here. Cover as much of the surface with sauce as possible.
It helps protect the edges of the bread from burning.


Here's where the garlic goes on. Don't forget this step!!!  book1


If ya real quick some other topping can go on the next layer.


Now time for the stringy stuff that holds it all together -- The mozzarella cheese.
Don't use anything else otherwise you will go on an anti-terror watch list.


Take ya hot pan out and whack ya creation on it; stick it in the griller on high.

Shut the door.....


About 5 minutes later.


Make sure if ya have CB phone stalkers like we do, that you keep the phone turned off so ya don't
get distracted by cowards like I did this week. I burnt my cheese that night. Thanks David Dimmock.

Timing is crucial. Ya want the cheese where it's just starting to turn baby shit brown.


I stuffed up here as I was sober tonight and left the cheese cook for about 60 seconds too long.
Make sure ya also keep family members out of the kitchen that babble on about politics and religion.


Yes that coffee was for me -- it's website work night at www.southporttown.tk

There ya go, CB junk food made in 8 minutes and not a single dull Dimmock moment missed.
He goes on with the same cOOter obsession drivel day after day, so you'll catch a re-run later anyway.

 Tears
On the other hand -- I think I'd rather better tasting slower cooked food,
 so as to miss all of those un-enlightening David dimwit moments.

 sign7
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Kyrandia
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« Reply #1 on: September 30, 2011, 09:27:55 AM »

My oh my Cooter . This just made my day. I laughed so hard I snorted coffee out of my nose, real good look   laughing7 .

Food actually looks pretty good though , and I'm sure hubby would prefer it to some of the meals I make him, he cringes every time I start pulling out ingredients he cant pronounce. I did a cooking competition online a few years ago , 6 weeks of meals , 1 week in each country , he loved Mexico, Italy and good old Australia, but I think he lived on 2 minute noodles and cheese on toast when we hit France, Jamaica and Asia in general . I however had a ball , even though I  probably gained around 10 kilos !

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cOOter
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!!! disco chicken !!!


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« Reply #2 on: September 30, 2011, 12:24:37 PM »

 Tears
LOL, ya got a photo of Chopper with a frogs leg or two leg hanging out his mans mouth?

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwLLymJYb5Q" target="_blank" class="aeva_link bbc_link new_win">Exotic Foods of China (insects, snails &amp; more)</a>


I'd not go near asians food either. They eat bugs and lizards.,
and BBQ dogs... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dog_meat

The sick pricks dry aborted babies and grin them into power to swallow as a human sacrifice, whoops, as 'stamina pills'.
http://sanfrancisco.ibtimes.com/articles/193371/20110805/china-dead-baby-pill-stamina-booster-cannibal-placenta.htm

 icon_pale
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Thunderbird
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« Reply #3 on: September 30, 2011, 02:54:36 PM »

Cooking with Chopper!

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTOw8zwhPqk" target="_blank" class="aeva_link bbc_link new_win">Chopper kitchen</a>


Fuckin tops!
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"If a clutered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign."  Albert Einstein

Well, I have the cluttered desk, I guess that's a start!
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Reply #3 on: September 30, 2011, 02:54:36 PM

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Kyrandia
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« Reply #4 on: October 01, 2011, 09:50:31 AM »

Ahh but Cooter , the nutritional value of choosing bugs for that bogan pizza instead of roast beef makes it a healthier option , add to that the sustainability and environmental issues and you would see the world would be a better place for generations to come if we all converted to the green and crunchy . http://people.howstuffworks.com/entomophagy3.htm. mmmmm bugggss *gag*

 I read that story about the stamina pills a while back... really kind of sick ... what gets me is why would someone even think about doing that ? hrmm I'm all out of get up and go , I KNOW , Ill grind up some dehydrated baby and that'll give me the boost I need  thumbsup

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cOOter
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!!! disco chicken !!!


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« Reply #5 on: October 01, 2011, 01:24:09 PM »

shit, I just got out of bed, what time is it?

LOL cooking with Chopper. Stir fried ears please, hold the wax.

I was just going to go get some breaky but seen the bugs on the http://people.howstuffworks.com/entomophagy3.htm

I might wait until later when i get pissed again before baking some of those up  happy8
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Reply #5 on: October 01, 2011, 01:24:09 PM

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Thunderbird
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« Reply #6 on: October 02, 2011, 04:56:18 PM »

Being as how I cant get your photo section up, Ill post here...

This is Choppers temporary antenna..
Shes a bloody ripper eh?!



* R0010252.JPG (1797.7 KB, 2592x1944 - viewed 73 times.)
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"If a clutered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign."  Albert Einstein

Well, I have the cluttered desk, I guess that's a start!
cOOter
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!!! disco chicken !!!


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« Reply #7 on: October 03, 2011, 12:37:54 PM »

Ow shit sorry about that I forgot to update the links to the photo area after the site went from .com to .tk
http://www.goldcoastcb.com/forum/index.php?action=gallery

LOL, Choppers aerial needs some man height.

At least it looks like a pro built one, and not a pile of crap that whitehouse makes.

LOL, funny bugger kept blocking my product review.

I've had one of his 16's and an 18 here before and they are shit.

As I was trying to say last night, when Davo was buying gear he went to the dudes at Tweed Heads and got a pro built set of twin yagis.
http://www.radiorampage.com/goldcoast/pages/index.php?page=Try_agai
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Thunderbird
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« Reply #8 on: October 03, 2011, 02:11:46 PM »

Ol Chopper is going to have a crack at making his own Yagis, assuming He'll need to, he's got 2 of those RFI 6 element Yagis lying around... hmm just need to go to Bunnings for some mounting hardware me thinks...
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"If a clutered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign."  Albert Einstein

Well, I have the cluttered desk, I guess that's a start!
Thunderbird
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« Reply #9 on: October 11, 2011, 01:53:52 PM »

Hers a piccy of Chopper's MENS version.. using VEGEMITE for those vital B group vitamins..still has the ol Mozzarell on but.
 Tears
And before you ask, yeah Chopper is a lazy bugger, he toasted the bread BEFORE adding the cheese... thumbsup


* R0010253.JPG (1616.3 KB, 2592x1944 - viewed 67 times.)
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"If a clutered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign."  Albert Einstein

Well, I have the cluttered desk, I guess that's a start!
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